I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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