He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
handjob tips. give me some.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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