so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
