fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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