So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
