is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
