Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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