Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every concussion has its silver lining
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
