So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
