hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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