We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a beard to bite.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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