you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
