OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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