i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
