Im at strip club and am horny
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just pee around me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
