I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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