Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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