ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
