So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No subtext here. People are naked.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize