Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
