i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
