if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
