Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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