Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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