everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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