Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize