I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
4 words: hood of his car
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
