Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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