In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She said her name was "party"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ok first of all what the fuck
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
