guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
