Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
