I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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