Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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