meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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