Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
