You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
