You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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