But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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