You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You just made me feel so damn special
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
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Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex