Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality