He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i think i just lost a toe