My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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