what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
