Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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