I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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