i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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