I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...