So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dating After Heartbreak
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.