I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.