We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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