remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
