do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
