Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
