so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
