dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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