Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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