he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
