Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
