I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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