I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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